Wow - this was a beautiful post. You captured the horror and terror of our city burning, while also describing the special relationship between a book coach and her clients, what has evolved to become a relationship between friends.
That means so much, Wendy. I hope you're hanging in there as a fellow Angeleno. It was so challenging to put into words what it's like being from here, but I'm so glad others could feel it from this post. And completely agree about clients evolving into friends. It's quite special! Thanks for reading!
Thanks for sharing this, Tamara! I work as a psychotherapist but am training as a book coach. It still amazes me how different the dynamics are. I love being a therapist, but we have really strict boundaries, definitely not allowed to be friends, let alone close friends, even if you have a lot in common and get along well. (I do agree with this strict rule, though, as it can get messy quickly if you become too emotionally involved. The boundaries are to protect both the client and the therapist.)
However, with book coaching, it's totally different! We can coach friends and befriend our client/ coach. When I first signed on to work with my book coach (who is fabulous, btw!), I had a frank conversation with her about this right from the start. I told her honestly that we have a lot in common, and I feel like we could potentially become friends (if I could be so presumptuous to say so.) So I asked her what her boundaries were, because I was unfamiilar with how coaching boundaries worked. She said that yes, we're allowed to be friends, and I was welcome to email her daily about writing stuff. I can also talk about my life.
While we do have quite open conversations, not just about my book but about our lives, I realize I currently only email her for "business related" matters. Usually about something that happened in my life, so I might need yet another deadline extension. XD But my emails are informal and conversational. In our calls, we talk about my story and about writing, but we also talk about our lives. I enjoy this mingling of topics. It's really different from the strict and clear boundaries I'm used to as a therapist. But it's very nice! It felt weird at first, but I quickly got used to it and looked forward to our convos.
Tam, what you and your fellow Los Angelenos have been through is unimaginable. Your post is a beautiful testament to the powerful connections that develop when we're working on stories that cut us to the bone, the vulnerability of sharing, and the relationships that deepen when others hold (and help guide) our stories. It for sure goes both ways, whether coach or client. Sending hugs from the east cost too.
Thank you for your kind words, Kim. I feel your love and support from the east coast. And I'm so glad we got to connect about the experience between client and book coach in person a couple months ago.
Beautiful piece, Tam. It's a privilege to be your client. Big hugs from Boston to you!
Endlessly grateful to know you and be friends with you, Jean!
Wow - this was a beautiful post. You captured the horror and terror of our city burning, while also describing the special relationship between a book coach and her clients, what has evolved to become a relationship between friends.
That means so much, Wendy. I hope you're hanging in there as a fellow Angeleno. It was so challenging to put into words what it's like being from here, but I'm so glad others could feel it from this post. And completely agree about clients evolving into friends. It's quite special! Thanks for reading!
Beautiful!
Isn't it? A ray of light in the dark!
Grateful that you read it, Zibby!
Thanks for sharing this, Tamara! I work as a psychotherapist but am training as a book coach. It still amazes me how different the dynamics are. I love being a therapist, but we have really strict boundaries, definitely not allowed to be friends, let alone close friends, even if you have a lot in common and get along well. (I do agree with this strict rule, though, as it can get messy quickly if you become too emotionally involved. The boundaries are to protect both the client and the therapist.)
However, with book coaching, it's totally different! We can coach friends and befriend our client/ coach. When I first signed on to work with my book coach (who is fabulous, btw!), I had a frank conversation with her about this right from the start. I told her honestly that we have a lot in common, and I feel like we could potentially become friends (if I could be so presumptuous to say so.) So I asked her what her boundaries were, because I was unfamiilar with how coaching boundaries worked. She said that yes, we're allowed to be friends, and I was welcome to email her daily about writing stuff. I can also talk about my life.
While we do have quite open conversations, not just about my book but about our lives, I realize I currently only email her for "business related" matters. Usually about something that happened in my life, so I might need yet another deadline extension. XD But my emails are informal and conversational. In our calls, we talk about my story and about writing, but we also talk about our lives. I enjoy this mingling of topics. It's really different from the strict and clear boundaries I'm used to as a therapist. But it's very nice! It felt weird at first, but I quickly got used to it and looked forward to our convos.
P.S. Sending hugs regarding the L.A. fire. :'(
Tam, what you and your fellow Los Angelenos have been through is unimaginable. Your post is a beautiful testament to the powerful connections that develop when we're working on stories that cut us to the bone, the vulnerability of sharing, and the relationships that deepen when others hold (and help guide) our stories. It for sure goes both ways, whether coach or client. Sending hugs from the east cost too.
Thank you for your kind words, Kim. I feel your love and support from the east coast. And I'm so glad we got to connect about the experience between client and book coach in person a couple months ago.
Beautiful and awful, Tam -- or maybe I mean awe-ful in the old sense of the word. Thanks for sharing this and thanks, Jennie, for "flowing through."
Thanks, Amy. I am beyond grateful that you are on my support team as well. Couldn't keep going without you!
Beautiful post, Tam. I feel honored to become a new client of yours and am excited to build our relationship.